So You Think You Know Me?

1. I have loved Sarah G since I was 13. I used to argue with a lot of my classmates who supported Rachelle Ann Go.

2. There is a guy I have liked since I was 14. Notice, “have liked”– present perfect.

3. After eating a lot of street food, I have to drink a lot of water. I really haven’t learned my lesson after getting UTI.

4. Our librarian teases me to her brother who I just met once. Well, I maybe irresistible. LOL

5. I hate people who talk behind somebody’s back. So I hate myself for that because at one point in my life, I know I did that.

6. If I could choose a family, I would still choose that family that has been given to me. Oh how I miss them.

7. I want to visit Davao. Not just because of the person in number 2 but because I want to explore other places I haven’t been to.

8. I believe in marriage. I believe that it is the foundation of a strong family. So when that time comes, I’ll whole-heartedly surrender to my husband as we do our best to work things out.

9. I love coffee. Not Starbucks definitely but the five-peso-super-cheap-only-poor-people-like-me-can-afford coffee.

10. I don’t believe in ghosts. evil spirits, yes.

11. I don’t believe in Trinity. I think Trinity limits the God Family. The Gospel of Christ, anyway, is about the God Family.

12. I am trying to imitate the British accent. Oh how I love it da’ling!

13. I don’t like hand washing but I can’t do anything but that because we don’t have a washing machine.

14. My years in UPB were so memorable and filled with experience. I might have encountered difficulties, but it was in there that I learned life.

15. People hate rainy days but I do love them. There are so many things that we can do when it is rainy, at least for ourselves. When it is rainy, the fast-paced life stops and when that happens, we can meditate more on the things we did and want to do.

16. I am afraid to die now. I  really am.

17. I can be both the best and the worst friend you can have.

18. I miss my family. Oh, did I already say that?

19. It is difficult to lose weight here in Angeles. I am not certain why. I haven’t eaten too much but gained 5 kilos in my entire stay here.

20. When I am sad, I sing. When I am happy, I sing. I can’t just stop singing.

21. I’m still looking for that something that would make my heart beat.

22. I dislike people who are not honest. Here, I hear a lot of people saying to another person “Kalagu mu” but when you look at their eyes, they’re empty. Such liars!

23. I am trying to live the “standard” I am supposed to live. I am really trying

24. They say time heals all wounds and I believe that. I cannot force myself to forgive someone who has done ill to me. I just can’t. I can forgive you but in time, not now.

25. On the contrary, I want to forgive everyone because in forgiveness, I know I can find serenity. God help me.

Ang Nag-iisang langit Ko

Sa tuwing tumitingin ako sa langit, nakakapagbalik-tanaw ako sa nakaraan ko. Sa tuwing tumitingin ko sa langit, para akong napapapadpad sa nakaraang ngayo’y alaala na lamang. Sa pagtingala ko, nakikita ko ang sarili ko habang nakasakay sa barkong nagbabaybay sa dilim. Sa pagtingala ko, para akong bumabalik sa mga panahong nakaupo ako sa labas-bahay namin at naghihintay ng bulalakaw. Sa pagtingala ko, naaalala ko ang mga panahong naglalakad ako mag-isa sa Session Road, nakayakap sa sarili at pumipito ng awitin. 

Andami nang nag-iba sa buhay ko. Andami ko nang taong nakilala, andami ko nang bagay na naranasan. Malayo na ang tinakbo ng oras. Pati mga taong nakilala ko, malayo na rin ang natakbo sa kani-kanilang mga buhay. 

Maging ako, malayo-layo na rin siguro ang natakbo ko. 

Pero kapag tumitingin akong langit, pakiramdam ko, hindi ako umaalis sa kinalalagyan ko. Ako ay nasa ilalim pa ring isang langit—humihinga, tumatakbo, nabubuhay.

Sa pagtingin ko sa langit, mistulang nabubuhay ang masasayang nakaraan ko. Kahit sa alaala lamang, nababalikan ko ang mga masasaya. Sa tuwing tumitingin ako sa langit, naalala ko ang pamilya ko, mga kaibigan ko at ibang taong dumaan sa buhay ko. Naiisip ko, minsan sa buhay ko, nakasama ko sa sila sa iisang langit na ito.

Masaya ako kapag tumitingin ako sa langit dahil puro masasayang alaala ang naalala ko. Minsan nga lang, hindi ko maiwasang hilingin na sana ay ibalik ako sa mga panahong iyon—upang balikan ang masasayang pangyayari at upang baguhin ang mga hindi kaaya-aya. 

Bente tres na ako. Ilang taon na rin ang lumipas. Kumpara sa batang naglalaro ng Chinese garter, batang nakikipag-away para kay Sarah Geronimo at batang nagkakagusto sa mapuputing matatangkad. Ibang iba na ako ngayon. May sarili nang isip at desisyon. May sarili nang prinsipyo. May sariling ideyolohiya. Pero sa bawat pagtingala ko, pinapaalala ng langit na kahit gaano kalayo ang baybayin ko at kahit gaano katas ang marating ko, isa lang akong taong nabubuhay at kailangan pa ring tumingala para makita ang nag-iisang langit. #

Love is Worth the Wait

I-Dawn Zulueta Mo Ako

One night, while I was online on the ever-famous social networking site, Facebook, my student chatted with me. He asked something that challenged my brain cells. Well, he practically asked me if I could give him any advice regarding courting/liking a girl.

Ever since the world began, I have not been a fan of teenage love. I think it is not real. I think it is not sincere. I think it is part of our imagined reality. Of course, some people would lambast me upon hearing this argument. It does not matter. We, I, have my own opinion on this given matter and since this is my blog, I have all the rights in the world to express my opinion. Thank you!

Most teenagers today rush into a relationship. Why? Because it is what the society demands of them. There is a certain status quo that they have to adhere to and anyone, especially men, not compromising with such status quo is branded as “gay” or “loser.”

Let me make it clear that I am not saying that teenagers cannot feel emotions. They can; they are humans, after all. Surely, they can feel emotions like happiness, being giddy, sadness and whatnot. But not love. For love is not an emotion. Quoting my psychology professor, “Love is not an emotion. It can be expressed through emotions but it is not an emotion.” Not because we feel happy, giddy, sad and broken, we are in love.

Love or not

So let me tell you what is love and what love is not.

Love is selfless. It is putting yourself out and putting the other person in. It is preparing yourself, making it better so you can give it wholly to your future partner. It is patiently waiting while taking all the means to mature mentally and emotionally. It is preparing oneself to the commitment you are about to enter in the future. Preparing, so you can be better for your future significant other.

What is it not?

Love is not rushing. It is not conforming. It is not a thing you possess just so you can go with the flow. It is not succumbing to the heat your body produces. It is not self-serving– getting him or her because you want to look nice or famous or cool.

So is stumbling into a relation while you’re young, love? Mostly not! We just enter into a relationship because we either want to fit in or we want somebody else’s attention and admiration we did not get from our family. These are examples of selfishness– and love is not selfish.

Where your focus should be

Now, instead of focusing on searching for the dream girl or boy to “love”, why not focus on being the dream girl or dream boy you are searching for? Instead of endlessly searching for the ideal one, why not work yourself out to be the ideal one?

How? By improving on yourself.

Read. Travel. Meet new people. Build friendships. Learn how to dance. Learn how to lead. Play music. Cultivate your talent. Learn how to be lead. Study English. Talk in English. Study history. Talk about events. Talk about great people. Be like them. In short, be the person you are looking for. Be better, so when love comes, you will be a better partner. You will be someone well rounded. You will be someone your partner can depend on, look up to, respect and love deeply.

I don’t think the teenagers today have that well-rounded personality; hence, they are not prepared for relationships. Getting a well-rounded personality can only spring from getting involve in different activities, stepping outside the comfort zone, meeting new challenges and self-improvement. And this is the time where teenagers should be deeply involved in.

He will come…She will come

Time will come that he or she will come. And at that time, you will be prepared. Self-centeredness will not get along the way. You will be mature enough to handle things and emotions. You would spare yourself from unnecessary heartbreaks. You will be someone worthy of somebody’s respect, admiration and love. And that time, you would know that love is worth the wait. #

A (nother) turnabout

Last year, if I remember it right, I wrote an entry here with a title, “20 and a turnabout.” Well, the main content of that blog is to tell myself that I have to change my former ways and be a better person. During that time, I was really determined to change and to seek a life away from my former one. However, looking back, I am certain that I have not really turned from my old self.

So now, October 22, 2012, I will make another profession with myself. A profession stating that I would be a better person. To be more specific, below are the list of things that I would do or change (about) myself.

1. A PRAYERFUL ATTITUDE. I’ll make it a point that I am able to talk to my God for an hour. This can sometimes be difficult since there is a lot of human nature in me but I’ll do my best to be able to do it.

2. MORNING AND EVENING BIBLE STUDY: Like praying, this is where I really have a hard time on. It’s not because I haven’t had time, it’s just because it has not been not in my priority. So starting today, I’ll make sure it’ll be in my priority list,

3. EXERCISE AND LOSE WEIGHT. I just had a jog this morning around the cemetery. Actually, it was sort of brisk walking since I couldn’t carry my body and jog. Everyday, I’ll make it a point to either jog or go to the gym. I need to be healthy and be in shape. My goal is to lose 8 kilos in 5 months. hmmm..

4. WORK HARD. Sometimes, I really feel lazy about RareJob. Last night, I cancelled two of my slots again because I felt  “tired.” I shouldn’t have done that. That tells me how a bad worker I am. I have to stay focus and find inspiration from my parents and the Work. Everyday, I will surely work 5 hours for RareJob. It;s time to seize that opportunity that God has given me.

Other reasons why I have to work hard is because of my BIG GOAL, which is to visit Davao. We are planning to go to Gensan first, then Davao, then Cagayan de Oro. I also want to travel overseas so I really have to work hard.

With all these in mind, I will strive hard to be better this time. And this time, I’ll make sure that this turnabout will not be put in vain. #

WHY WRITE?

Sometimes, I just feel so incompetent. No matter how I tell myself that I am good, no matter how I try to remind myself that I am a graduate of UP, I still sometimes feel that I have to do more.

In my current workplace, which is a Korean Academy, I was assigned to handle writing classes. In my opinion, what makes writing difficult is that there is no definite way of teaching it. As what my teacher in the university said, (non-verbatim), “I can teach grammar rules but never the style in writing, for each of us has a different style.” It is impossible to teach the student his or her style of writing. A person’s own style can be acquired from the books he read. For instance, if he reads books of Robert Fulghum, he can have a conversational and humorous style of writing. On the other hand, if he loves reading classical novels such that of Shakespeare or Victor Hugo, he may have a literary-like writing style. My point here is that, nobody can impose his writing style to another person. Grammar rules, patterns and organization of words can be checked and corrected but never the style of writing. In my classes, I am the teacher. My duty as a teacher is to correct their writing pieces. As the ‘head’ of the class, I cannot avoid to fix their writing pieces in a style that I want. For instance, I always like to write in active sentences; thus, I cannot avoid changing their sentences into active. Another example is that, I often write in a conversational and emotional manner; thus, every time my students submit to me their journals, I tend to change it when I feel it lacks a conversational and emotional tone. When I encounter scenarios like these, two choices play inside my head. Should I let them express themselves using their own styles or should I impose my style and let them learn from it? Which should I do? It will be a lot easier for me if I choose the former since I just have to correct the grammatical errors and the structure, but I won’t feel satisfied with it. Yet, if I choose the latter, I may feel satisfied about their writing pieces but they may feel confused. One more thing, if I also choose the latter one, I might rob them off of their own styles—their freedom of choosing their own styles.

Aside from the problem on ‘styles,’ a lot of students are not into writing. According to my friend who has been teaching Koreans for more than five years, only five of a thousand students would prefer writing. Most of the students, if you would ask them, would prefer speaking over writing. Some of them even dislike writing without even trying it first. How could you teach someone who immediately closed his mind towards it? How could you lead his steps if he is not even willing to follow? At first, I treated writing seriously—focusing my mind into it, working as hard as possible to make it beneficial for them. But then, no matter how hard you try, if the student is not willing to help himself, then your actions are all in vain. The students are still clients, no matter how at ease you are with each other.  As much as possible, they should get what they want or what they deserve to get. I am a sensitive person—other people know that. I can feel if the student doesn’t want to study writing and just indulged into conversation. Oftentimes, I follow them; just having conversation about anything under the sun. But at the back of my mind and in the deepest corners of my heart, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that they were not able to receive what they paid for. Every time I encounter that situation, I repeatedly ask myself: Should I insist on doing what I know we should do or should I follow what they want since they are the clients?

These are the thoughts that come into my head. These are the thoughts that make me feel incompetent. As a writing student and a teacher, I just hope that these students will somehow appreciate the importance of writing. Isn’t it is through writing that we could know how to speak well? When we were young, we used to just imitate the way our parents speak—not being mindful whether the words we used are correct or not. Eventually, at school, the teacher teaches us the correct spelling and how it should be read. I’m sure that it is through writing that we were able to correct ourselves more thoroughly. It is through writing that we could speak better.  I guess what I am really trying to say is, if you want to speak well, you should know how to write. For it is in writing that you can check your grammar, organize your thoughts and express the words that your mouth cannot utter. #

The Starbucks Principle by Nick Gracia

In my former university, Starbucks was really frequented by a lot of people from different walks of life. Everytime I passed through that big transparent walls, I couldn’t help to remember Nick Garcia’s writing about Starbucks. I first read it online then in Bob Ong’s book, Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?”So here its is:

Haven’t you noticed how Starbucks has taken the place of Megamall, Enchanted Kingdom, and Jollibee? Today, Starbucks spells gimmick. Suddenly, everyone is mad about coffee, and is willing to spend a whoping hundred bucks for “one tall mocha frappe please!” Everyone claims it’s different. It’s something else, it’s to die for. Instead of catching a nice flick at the cinema, the Filipinos’ new idea of fun is to voluntarily park their buns at the café and gulp all the caffeine they can.

No one knows exactly why Starbucks has become the hot spot, when what they serve is just foamed Blend 45 for crying out loud. Oh, try pointing this out to Starbucks fanatics (i.e., the likes of teeny-boopers and kikay girls), and you can expect getting attacked on how little you know about coffee. Get ready with answers like “Duh! Starbucks isn’t just coffee! They’re ground beans and processed chocolate and skimmed milk! What do you know about that?”

They have a point there, though, because even in the United States, when you talk coffee, Starbucks comes first. Their ingredients are never questionable, and if I’m not mistaken, Starbucks is an established-since-year brand. In short, Starbucks is the coffee authority. But it ends there. Starbucks is coffee, period. Certainly not a gimmick place of some sort, not convincing enough as an alternative for the mall. This, I repeat, is the case in the United States.

But Starbucks invades Manila, and here it becomes an obsession. As you may have already seen, the interiors of Starbucks cafes are all designed to create a distinct ambience. Notice from the Italian-tiled flooring, to the cowboy-motif wall covering, to the fancy lamps, tables, and chairs crafted like those only seen in home magazines. Of course, who would miss the complicated bar counter, behind which all the grinders and blenders are displayed as if to remind you they really do process your cappuccino.

I mean who can resist frequenting a posh place like this? Instead of worrying about other important things, the typical teenager puts on her best dress, and with her kikay friends goes straight to Starbucks where she orders “one tall caramel frappe please!” This takes time to prepare, which is fine. She feels rewarded by the fact that the ethical barista would shout her name across the room by the time her frappe is ready. After she claims it, she heads for the self-service corner where she takes excessive packets of extra sugar, extra cream, an inch thick of Starbucks tissue paper for souvenir. Then she sits by the window, hoping someone she knows would pass by and see her drinking expensive coffee. She takes remarkably small sips in order to prolong her stay, like a real smart-ass.

During the entire process, there is the obligatory flaunting of Nokia cellphones, the occasional eruptions of “yeah” and “sure” here and there. You get the impression everyone in the room is from the conyo sector. Pathetic as it is, the Starbucks atmosphere is so contagious that it simply brings out the social climber in one.

You have to admit that the Philippine franchiser of Starbucks-whoever he is-deserves credit. He’s certainly not stupid. He sees through us Filipinos, and definitely knows how to flatter us. Mr. Starbucks is aware of the average Pinoy desire to be associated and considered among the elite because well, in reality, the average Pinoy is far from being that. The average Pinoy home is less attractive than a place like Starbucks. The average Pinoy meal is without garnishes. The average Pinoy environment is less comforting and convenient than the service of Starbucks.

But when in Starbucks, the average Pinoy is instantly made to feel he’s in New York, or Las Vegas, or Paris, or anywhere else but in Manila—one probable reason why Filipinos but this flick. We are total suckers of for anything that is western in concept. But Starbucks has gone beyond colonial mentality; it has become pure escapism. It helps us forget about the EDSA traffic jam, the hostages in Mindanao, and the harsh realities of poverty and chaos, anything that offers oblivion and temporary indulgence sells fast. No matter how costly it is.

With their little creativity in repackaging, Starbucks is no longer just coffee. It’s already a religion. That we Filipinos practically worship that green logo with the exotic lady shows where we derive our strength to move on. It is from the promise of Starbucks every pay day.

THE RACE

reposted from: http://holyjoe.org/poetry/anon3.htm

The Race
attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

A Learning Experience

Last September 23, I decided to formally leave my first full-time job. As I go out
of the resort in which the institute was situated in, I looked back at the
wonderful memories I shared with the students and the teachers.

My journey started in that institution on May 13 when I applied as an English
tutor. I was not really prepared for the interview. Well, I passed my
application on the 12^th of May and was expecting for a call the next
week. On the sunny day of May 13, I was in the Health Center, processing my
Health Certificate when I received a text message from Baguio English
Communication Institute telling me that I have an examination and/or interview.
My heart was almost detached from my body when I read that; I was baffled,
bewildered, rattled and troubled. What should I do? I was wearing jeans, faded
shirt and sneakers that have broken soles. I surely cannot return to our house
anymore because my interview was at 12:30 and it was already 11:30. Downtown is
an hour away from my house so, I immediately texted my classmate and thesis
partner to provide me with clothes that will suit me. She provided me with
stilettos that are so close-fitting that it could not even fit my big feet.
Aside from that, she gave me a collared-blouse. (Thank You Raziel, I miss you.)
After saying a million thanks, I left the house and headed to the place where
God led me.

At first, I was really nervous because it was my first face-to-face interview. I
had an interview with RareJob (online teaching job) before but that was way
back in college and the interview was through Skype. Anyway, Teacher Ariel,
whom I thought was the HR of the school, gave me an exam concerning modals. To
be honest, modals weren’t so easy for me during that time. Of course, I know “should,”  “can,” and “must” but I really didn’t know the difference between “will and would” and “can and could.” I also did not know what “had better” means.
Anyhow, I finished the exam by the time Teacher Ariel knocked on the door to
get my examination. After the exam, I and the three co-applicants sat on the
sofa in the lobby and waited for the next instructions. There, Mr. vice
president, Ricky Lee, sat and chat with us. Mr. Lee, is a sharp-looking,
chinky-eyed guy who has many businesses in Baguio (as far as I know). But Mr.
Lee is kind especially to the new teachers who really need guidance and
emotional support. Kudos to VP!

And so, I waited patiently for my interview, with my heart beating so fast and
really loud that the even a person in the far-flung area in the Philippines
could hear it. After a while, I was called in for the interview. At this point,
my heart was not just loud but VERY LOUD that the president of Korea could even
hear it. My interview with Madam Jhuvy went on smoothly. She asked me some
basic question such as my family, my reason for applying, my expected salary,
etc. I cannot remember what my answers to her questions were, but I am certain
that I answered with rectitude and honesty.

To cut the looooooooooooooooooooooooong story short, I was accepted in the job and was told to start on May 16.

I went home happily telling my family that I already got a job! Of course, they
were happy for me as I was also so happy for myself. I thanked God for the
opportunity and another learning experience He provided me. But then, on
Sunday, a day before my first day at work started, I received a call from Club
John Hay asking me if I could go to the interview set for me on Monday (May
16). I was baffled, not knowing what I should answer to the person on the other
line. For a moment, I thought of the two opportunities offered to me. If I say
yes to the interview, I would give up a sure job BECI offered me. But that
would also mean that I would have to give in to uncertainties of getting hired
in CJH. On the other hand, if I say no to the interview, I would release from
my grip a very good job opportunity from one of the biggest business
corporation in Baguio.  In the end, I said no to CJH and decided to pursue BECI. At times, I thought of the opportunity I lost but when I think of the valuable things I learned as a tutor, I feel satisfied and comforted. Maybe, I can still get another
opportunity like that of CJH.

In my stay as an English tutor, I can say that I grew up—academically and
emotionally. I met a lot of people; people with different personalities. Some
of them are very outgoing and humble, some are silent, and some of them do
clash with my personality. Now here’s the first thing I learned from BECI. People will not always be the ones who you will like. On the way, there will be people who are completely different from you; very much different that he/she is on the North Pole while you are on the South. So different that even if both of you extend your arms to the equator,
you still can never reach each other. With this, just try to be friendly and get along with him/her. The world does not turn only for you and not all the things you wish for will be granted.

I also learned that you cannot please everybody no matter how much you exert an effort. I always wanted to do my best a tutor so I tried to review everything beforehand. Some would ask me why do I always bring the books home or why would I always review the lessons during break times. It is because I am pursuing for perfection/excellence—even if some tell me that I should just give what I was paid for, even if some tell me that I am stressing myself too much. I always try my best to not settle for less—to not be a mediocre as I had always been. As a bible passage say, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” But even if I tried my best, some students asked for more. Some people never would want to believe in you especially if you are younger than they
are—and they never dare to give you a chance to prove yourself to them.

I remember an experience I had when I was given a student who was an engineer in
Japan. The engineer would want to have a listening class. Honestly, I never had
a thorough experience with listening before. His class was the second listening
class I handled. At the onset the class, I was really afraid of him because of
what I heard from other teachers. He is a middle-aged man who seldom smiles. I
gave him all the books he might want to have for listening but he keeps on
telling me that the books were easy for him and that he needed a certain book that
would help him listen for specific details. I told him that we just have to go
through the books because every topic will gradually help him to improve his
listening skill. He could not just look for a topic he wanted and expect for
good results. The book is a strategized material that should be taken step by
step so that the student would eventually acquire the skill. I just let him get
what he wanted and I thought we were OK. But then, on our fourth day of class,
he told me that I was not equipped for the listening class and that he needed
another “more experienced” teacher in listening. He further told me that I would
be better for the young. I totally disagreed with that because I had been
teaching old people in my online job—people who are even 75 years old. I may
not be so knowledgeable with listening but I was trying hard to be fitted for
him and for other students. Well, in the end, he changed me as his teacher.
Don’t get me wrong, we did not have a fight, he told me his demands calmly and
I answered him in the same manner too. But, he did not know that my ego was crushed into pieces right before my face. Never did he know that during those times, I kept on questioning myself if I was really capable of teaching. I kept on
asking myself if it was right for me to be there.

But well, as I told you, you cannot please everybody even if you try hard. But that
should not stop you from educating and cultivating knowledge. That is the third
lesson I learned: continue to find ways on how to improve yourself. Take each trial as your stepping stones for improvement. Remember that learning is a process that one has to continually go through.

I also did not divulge my age to my students, at least to most of them. Most
students want to have teachers that have teaching experience and are older than
them. I cannot blame them though. If I were in the same situation, maybe I
would do the same.  I did not divulge my age because I do not want their judgment on me be clouded. I did not want them to think of me as incapable even before I open my mouth and speak. But then, I will be forever grateful for the students who trusted in me and gave a chance to prove myself to them. Though I may not be an excellent teacher to you because of the mistakes I sometimes made, I am so happy that you still entered my class and gave me a chance.

Yes, I made a lot of mistakes. I mean a whole lot. Sometimes, I did not want the
student to know that I made mistakes. So even though we both know that I was
wrong, sometimes, I would still insist that I was correct. This was the worst
attitude that I have to overcome— pride. I cannot say that I already overcame
it but I can say that I am on my way. This is the fourth lesson BECI taught me:
Do not be afraid of making mistakes. If you made a mistake, admit that you did and do not repeat the same mistake again. Anyway, we are humans, capable of making mistakes and also capable of
correcting them. Say “I don’t know” if you really don’t know and do not make justifications for what is really wrong.

My stay with BECI was also not complete without the teachers who taught me and
joined me on my way. Even though I was new, they welcomed me with open arms and helped me to adjust to the new environment that I had. I would like to take
this opportunity to thank all the teachers who helped me in my journey as a
tutor.

Thank you, most especially to Tita Ganda or Teacher Ting who let me used her bathroom; who is so frank that she sometimes becomes so witty; and who assured me that I have a shield when conflicts arise.

Thank you Ara, for being a good sister and a good friend. I never thought we would be that close. Thank you for calling me names like “Luka,” “Ateng” and “Teh.”
Thank you for making some lessons easier for me to understand.

Teacher Jing, thank you also for being a mother to me and an inspiration to be a strong woman.

I also would like to thank the new teachers, Madriaga, Elona, MJ, Shy, Maxene, Kaycee, Jed, and Grace for being good acquaintances; for trusting me with some of your secrets and considering me as a part of your league even though I did not attend the same school as you had and did not take the same course as you did.

Thank you also to Jollybeth and Joan who always welcome me with smiles on their faces. Thank you T. Joan for allowing me to embrace your big stomach when you were sill pregnant.

Thank you Nail for always lending me your laptop when I had deadlines or revisions
from Essays.ph. I hope you can pass the exam there if you also plan to apply.

Thank you also T. Rema for always calling me “Ganda” and for being a sweet-spoken friend.

Gene Rose, thank you for your laughs that rang around our aisle.  Thank you for lending me money when I really need some. Thank you also for your Cuchinta that
tastes great.

Teacher Red, the ever open Teacher Red thanks a lot for helping me with grammar. Thank you for teaching me and always telling me to relax. Thank you for being our
voice to the administration.

I also would like to thank T. Amy, T. Marissa, and T. Mariam for being funny and
teaching me with some grammar rules. I also would like to thank T. Francesca and T. Nancy for joining us during meal time and talking with me even though I am so inexperienced and maybe immature.

Grachelle, Nancy and Rachel. At first, I was really confused who is who among the three of you. Well, thank you for the laughter and the “balahuraans” or the joke times.

T. Chad, thank you for being an example of a mother of class and strength.

T. Jhuvy thank you so much for helping me on how to conduct lessons. Thank you for being so patient with my lesson plan and most of all thank you for making me
feel a part of BECI.

T. Michael (who resigned with me), thank you for always smiling and asking me
questions that really made me think. You just don’t know how much I ponder on
the questions that you asked me.

T. Ariel, thank you for your always printing my examinations, quizzes, etc. Thank
you also for helping with the “students’ matters.”

Thank you T. Cora for processing my SSS, PhilHealth, Pag-ibig and TIN numbers.Thank you for always listening to my songs.

T. Anne, thank you for lending me books and always fixing my tapes or CDS.

To all the teachers, thank you so much.

I also would like to thank the following students for being a significant part of my life. You just don’t know how much I learned from all of you; how much I improved because of you. Thank you for the laughter, the smiles and even the bad days we shared together. I hope I can remember all of you.

Leaf- the sweet girl

Lee (Yohei Ito) – the determined man

Brad (Takumi Sakabe) – the one always
oversleeps. hehe

Tantan- the nice guy

Mato (Makoto Kozuma)- the one who hate me and always hostile to me.

Bruce- the guy who never entered my class

Jeff (Oh-Chang Kyu) – the smiling guy

James (Tadasuke Magari)-

Anna (Aki Hamada)- the girl whose smile can launch a thousand ships

Tequila (Junichi Fujisawa) – my bittersweet brother who taught me a lot of things

Hyeon

Yossy (Yuichi Yoshinuma) – the kind guy

Asuka (Asuka Yamaguchi) – my ever-loyal student and chatmate

Ark (Ariga Masatoshi) – the skiing father

Jinny (Yukiko Takahashi) – the wacky one

Nick (Kang Junsoo) – the great engineer

Isaac (Yang Seung Min) – the student manager who has a tender heart

Margarette (Kuniko Fukuda) – the deep-thinker

Bob (Takeshi Nojima) – the guy with the hoody jacket

Chinno (Shin Jae-Wan) – the only student who made me cry

Simpson (Sung Soo-Moon)- the vice president’s son

Joe (Yohei —) the laughing chemist

Smith- the agent

Mottie- Yao Ming (girl version)

John (Lee Seon-Joon) – the intelligent guy

Liu (Dianlei Liu) – Yao Ming literally

Ryo- the environmentalists and soon-to-be Atenista

Jay (Park- Tae Jan) – the apple of my eye

Vodka (Hiroyuki Kawasaki)- the former
apple of my eye. 🙂

**I hope I included everyone. To all those students whom I don’t know  but shared their hello and smiles, thank you. Thank you so much. Mwah. Mwah.

“Distance never separates two hearts
that really care, for our memories span miles and in seconds we are there.”

Wounds that can’t still be healed

First of all, I want to audibly say that I do not have any position in this blog. I just want to report what I heard from other people and what I think about those. It is not my intention to degrade either party.

My students and I had a discussion about the conflict between Korea and Japan regarding the Dokdo (for Koreans) or Takeshima (for Japanese). To be fair and minimize the use of  (/) symbol, let me just call it Liancourt Rocks. Liancourt Rocks is a group of small islets in the Sea of Japan (East Sea). However, though it is clearly located in the SEA OF JAPAN, it is currently administered by Koreans with coast guards surrounding the islets (thanks wikipedia).

I asked my Korean student why Dokdo is very important to them. Is it like Spratly, which possesses a lot of oil? Does it have many natural resources that can be used by Korean people? The answer is a resounding NO. According to him, once Japan gets Liancourt Rocks, they would also gain property over the East Sea.

Being a trained journalist, I know I also have to get the side of my Japanese student so I opened the topic in our online class. As expected, the student told me that Liancourt Rocks was owned by Japan before. But due to the negligence of the government to maintain or keep it, it was put into somebody else’s hands. He told me that Takeshima doesn’t have a lot of natural resources (unlike Spratly, in which China and other countries have conflicts with) but Korea keeps it because of pride.

I know about Japan’s conflict with Korea or Korea’s conflict with Japan. The conflict is deeply rooted from their history– when Koreans was once subjected to Japanese. And I think, Koreans find it hard to let go. Of course, I don’t blame them. I can’t blame them. I am not in the position to blame them. Maybe, the wound is very deep that it’s hard to let go. Maybe they tried… but the wound kept on searing. Maybe history is never easy to forget especially when people constantly remind you of that.

One of the reasons I think why Korea doesn’t want Japan to get the Liancourt is maybe because they don’t want to be subjected again to Japan. Maybe they don’t want Japan to make them feel inferior again (if Japan does that).

I think Japan, on the other hand, must understand Korea. There really are scars that can’t be erased immediately—that can’t be blown by the wind or washed by the waves. Maybe Japan has to wait a little bit more before they can  have Korea’s total forgiveness.

Anyway, this topic reminds me of the relationship between the Filipinos and the Japanese. Filipinos also had a bad experience with Japanese but I don’t think we hold deep grudges for them. On a certain degree, Koreans and Filipinos suffered from the hands of Japanese. But the Filipinos aren’t reacting the way the Koreans do.

Are Filipinos forgiving people or just forgetful about their history? Maybe, maybe not.

THE CHARACTERS WE SHOULD BE LIKE

Every child has a superhero in his or her heart. Who would not know Superman or Wonder Woman? How about Batman and his ever-loyal partner Robin? Surely, adults who have a superhero etched in their hearts would be very delighted to go back to their childhood days when they would sneak into their room, away from moms who would ask them to do house chores, and flip the pages of comic books where their favorite superhero adventure awaits them. And even for an hour, they would get their minds off to places not visited by real people but nonetheless very real in their hearts.

DC Comics and Marvel Comics both have huge contributions in the industry of Comic Books in the United States. Marvel Comics, which started in 1939, brought to American audience some superheroes such as Iron Man, Hulk, Spider Man, X-Men and Fantastic Four. Among the superheroes made by the company, Captain America was one of those who achieved major sales in its heyday, “with a circulation of 1 million.” Probably, this was because the character was born during World War II where the people fancied having someone to save them in that wartime period. DC Comics, named after the company’s popular series, Detective Comics was established in 1935, four years earlier than Marvel Comics. It popularized comic characters such as Superman, Catwoman, Aquaman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Marvel and DC Comics are said to have the “Superhero trademark,” meaning they have ownership on the word “superhero.” In the site comicbookresources.com, it says that the word “superhero” has restrictions and other companies cannot use it in their products.

Superhero comic characters also possess identifications which fortunately help the producers create a “recall” in the minds of the audience. Captain America, with his American flag-like shield can easily be distinguished from Superman, who has a big “S” in his chest and a cape in his back. Though both of these superheroes’ costumes have alike colors—red and blue—probably, depicting that they are saviors for America, their marks distinguished them from each other. Other identifying factors these superheroes possess include costumes, fighting styles and physical abilities.

In the later years after the printed version, these comic characters were transported to motion pictures and became a hit to movie goers. Spiderman for instance, was crowned with success not just once but thrice! According to the news, this 2012, the famous comic character will again be revived by Andrew Garfield. In the previous years, Toby Maguire with is leading lady Kirsten Dunst gave the legendary character a smashing success when it was brought to the cinema. Now, it is time to pave the way for another generation of Spiderman. Comic characters being transformed into flesh and blood beings just show that comic characters do not die, they just evolve.

Superheroes from the Comic Books are really close to children and children-at-heart. The power of human imagination created and sustained, for a very long time, these unrealistic beings. Though illusory, people dwell with them because it is only through imagination they escape the harsh reality this world brings. It is only in the pages of the comic books that people see happy endings—always. It must not be bad to believe in these fantasies once in your life. Comic books are not just for entertainment—they should be part of learning. People should learn and put to heart what comic books stories reiterates: “don’t do bad things,” “love yourself,” “help others,” and most of all, “whatever you are, be a good one.”#